Jackie

This is the most public yet of my many humiliations.

Jerry

Cancelled? But I was supposed to be on tomorrow night.

Letterman

Yeah, but then, you know, some people were telling me about that little flap out there at the junior high assembly. And before that, you were bumped by a lizard?

Jerry

Actually, it was a ********.

Letterman

those things, deadly dangerous. A long time ago my uncle and a date are driving, like, through Mexico. They see one on the road, drags him out of the road, and chews his face off. Listen, we'll call you if anything opens up. Okay, Jimmy?