Jerry

(to George) Is that uh, other apartment still available?

Jerry

I got ripped off for about the...18th time? And now, the first couple a times you go through it, it's very upsetting and your first reaction or one of your friends will say, 'Call the police. You really should call the police.' So you think to yourself, you know, you watch TV, you think, 'Yeah, I'm calling the police. Stakeouts, manhunts... I'm gonna see some real action.' Right, you think that. So, the police come over to your house, they fill out: The Report. They give you: Your Copy. Now, unless they give the crook his copy, I don't really think we're gonna crack this case, do you? It's not like Batman, where there's three crooks in the city and everybody pretty much knows, who they are. Very few crooks even go to the trouble to come up with a theme for their careers anymore. It makes them a lot tougher to spot. 'Did you lose a sony? It could be the Penguin. I think we can round him up, he's dressed like a PENGUIN! We can find him, he's a PENGUIN!

Elaine

Oh, well, come on. This is an apartment, this is a home! This is a place to live. Oooh, a fireplace, are you kidding me! Does this work?

George

I didn't know there was a fireplace. A fireplace, that's incredible.

Jerry

How do you get all that wood in here?