News

Rudy Giuliani, who underwent a physical last week, received some startling news today, when his cholesterol count turned out to be a whopping 375. What effect this will have on the minds of the voters remains to be seen. In another development, Mayor Dinkins has fired his top advisor, Lloyd Braun, who is believed to be responsible for the name tag fiasco. We now take you to Giuliani headquarters where Rudy Giuliani is about to make a statement.

Giuliani

It's hard to understand. Because I've been doing everything I normally do. I've been watching my diet very carefully. I exercise regularly. My only indulgence, I guess, would be that I eat a lot of frozen yogurt. But it's non-fat.

Jerry

Non-fat yogurt? Oh, my god. They got Giuliani and he doesn't even know it.

Elaine

(pointing to Kramer) Now look what you've done.

Jerry

Well, we've got to do something. (grabs his phone) I'm calling Giuliani's headquarters.