Elaine

How long does a funeral take?

Jerry

Depends on how nice the person was. But you gotta figure, even Oswald took forty-five minutes.

Elaine

So you can't do both?

Jerry

You know, if the situation were reversed and Manya had some mah-jongg championship or something, I wouldn't expect her to go to my funeral. I would understand.

Elaine

How can you even consider not going?